yandao.com - Memoirs of a player wannabe

Yup. Big big idea.. and we’ll all get a cut of the pie. (Yes, the pie we’re targeting is S$1,000,000 in a month!)

Nope, no details here. Not like the $12/hour job… too sensitive to reveal now, at least.

Drop me an e-mail, indicating your skills (in IT-aspects, or marketing, or commercial, blah blah blah) or whatever you can do at hot_wired13 [at] hotmail.com, do *NOT* MSN me about this, and do *NOT* call me (if you have my number) about this – there is commitment required, at least a month or two – but since we’re all students, I understand also that we’ve got our own stuff – but if everyone plays a part, should be easy.

No, not all of you will be a part of it. Try your luck. We’ll talk via e-mail, yea?

Regards,

Kelvin
Future Spearheader of The $1,000,000 Project =X

Wait wait wait. As with every other possibly offensive and flamable post, I, Kelvin, have to give disclaimer first (disclaimer’s the thing which means that if anything go wrong, or if you anyhow kay kiang use your imagination too far, it’s not my fault for putting thoughts in your head.) – actually, that sums my disclaimer up, lah.

Anyone who knows me would inevitably also know that I’m really a mountain tortoise one.. when it comes to keeping up to date with the news. Comparing to our other Singapore icons – like the XiaXue, Mr Brown, and the other smaller blogs which some people go there to SEE SOME SKIN FROM YET ANOTHER POLY GAL [Melicacy], or celebrate the popularity of another blog in RP [Vivianlly] which I overheard some guys talking about in the… underpopulated toilets. – I’m considered really under-info-populated, and very “old”

If you wanted, you can call me old bird.

Heck, if you wanted to read about news which existed half a year ago, read Republic Polytechnic’s very own blog.

Today, I finally took up the courage to read the news, and the first thing I saw was:

Foreign population in Singapore crosses 1m mark

FOREIGNERS are coming here in unprecedented numbers, contributing to the largest swell in Singapore’s population in more than two decades.

The foreign population, which includes professionals, workers, students and their family members, was an estimated 1,005,500 in June this year – crossing the one million mark for the first time.

(Source: Straits Times Online)

Nononono. I’m not against foreigners, in fact, I do love the culture exchange, and the learning (and knowledge, er, acquisition process) gained by sharing. The thing is, I do have a grudge for bangladeshis – I don’t know why, but it’s a personal dislike.

BWAHAHAHA. A very biased analogy of us in the near future. I do belief that by then, all of us will fancy wearing construction hats, and it’ll be more of a fashion statement than a… protective item.

Remember how our fellow Bangla, I mean, er, foreign manual talent, workers used to wear Long Sleeve Office Shirts in shades of Light Pink and Light Blue? Hell, that’s the TREND, man. In a few years, we can find construction hardhats in the following shades:

Now now, what would you do if every magazine you bought from the newstand, NTUC, or Cold Storage had Bangladeshi-style construction hat coupons inside? Instead of your usual perfume coupons, or Buy 1 Get 1 Free Steak Coupons?

Or what if Capitaland Malls kena acquired by BanglaLand Malls and all the major shopping centres in Singapore end up going through “upgrading” instead of REALLY selling things? Wah piang eh. I really cannot imagine how that will turn out.. (and all the malls will ever sell would be boxed Nasi Lemak, fake Cigarettes, and… sheesh)

*Sighs* Our society at despair – bo pian, they call this globalization, and we must accept it… Accept, accept accept… Then again, acceptance does not always equate to compromise…. *grins*

Now do you see the magnitude of the problem? KNNBCCBOMGWTFFUSHEESHBLAH! =X

Well, just went to Mr Brown’s site.. and saw.. THIS!

Not bad eh. Now-sa-days quite high security, lehs. Especially after crazy people ran renegade with their army rifles. Jialat – now I’m worrying for my future in 2 years time.

But then, it’s all right. As the picture says, just “Chao Keng“.

Fellow MALE friends who’re about to enter the service, must remember this, okay?

Oops. I have a tendency to neglect posting anything silly for quite a while.

Maybe that’s because since the last few weeks of the holidays, together with when school started – I, er, basically got quite caught up with work, studying, and coping with deranged… mmm.. stuff. Yes, I know, I’ve still yet to make the Photo Database searchable – but I need sleep also – hence my recent outsourcing job for $12 an hour – Yes, that’s also how much sleep is worth to me

Back to the topic – I’ve been wanting to post these pics up for quite a while, not just because I find it amusing, but.. well, I’ve a few points to prove, allow me to demonstrate;

(These photos were grabbed off Polytechnic Forum, 2007 – which I’ve *really* alot to say – about the extremely hypocritical people around, and the.. well.. political situations there. – However, if you’re one of those who disagree with my take on politics, feel free to voice out – I don’t practice censorship, hor. Heh.)

Let’s see what we’ve got here… (click the pics to “zoom” into them – aka – see a larger one. use the arrow-scroll keys – up, down, left, right – to navigate the pic!)

Oh, its 1.. slightly.. affected person – but then again, the Polytechnic Forum is supposed to be about Youths… Ah, yes, the authorities are trying to understand how us, youths think. Maybe hence the… stress levels.
(PS: If this pic, or any of the pics below, depict someone you know – please tell me, and I’ll blur out his/her features. okay?)

WAIT LAH. I know that one photo doesn’t prove a point. Nor does one bald/stressed-out head.

Okay, okay. How about two?

At this point, I know that the majority of you all would probably throw cabbages, carrots, brinjals, or… scrambled eggs with pepper and salt at me. Because two stressed out heads obviously doesn’t prove anything too. Maybe while watching the old people down your block playing Chinese Chess – you’ll get a glimpse of more than those few bald heads.

Well then. Maybe this photo proves my point. Let’s count the number of baldies… er, I mean, Hardworking Civil Servants who happens to be slightly stressed out.

PRIZES FOR THOSE WHO MANAGE TO COUNT THE NUMBER CORRIGHT-LY!

Yes yes, just doing their job, in our very well-developed, and people-oriented society. You gotta love your local representative, eh?

Oh, maybe it’s their ability to stay awake at “heartwarming” and mind-boggling speeches, and that’s why we’re not them – because, the majority of students – as the botaky’s were watching with extreme indulgence… were….

..sleeping.. or at least about to fall asleep.

Does that mean that if I am able to tahan LONG speeches and graduate from a famous JC – I can join our famous Service, too? And wear white clothes everyday? And have Orchird Garlands around my neck when I go door-to-door?

Now then, I’m wondering why hair-loss companies such as Yunan, and Beijing 101 Hair-care agencies haven’t approached them.. for “subcontracting”.. After all, that’s the “in”-thing now with the Gahmen.. Not meh?

Then again, I suppose… Singapore cannot use companies with… uhm… Non-heartlandish names inside. Maybe if we called it.. Merlion 101, Cosmopolitan Hair Care, or Lee Hair Care Services (oops, I meant Le Hair Care Services – with that French touch), – it might just work. Who knows?

Hey guys (and gals),

EDIT 3: CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED. WAH PIANG EH. RESPONCE IS CRAZY. I GOT LIKE 12 MSN CHAT WINDOWS. Anyways, congrats to all those who got the job. I’ll email you tomorrow morning

As you all know – yes I’m up to something… and when I’m up to something, I *pay* well

Here – for those who need cash, I’ll pay $12/hour for a really simple job – sitting down, be it in school, at home, or in the toilet – I don’t really wish to know. As long as you’re good at what you do, the $12 is yours.

(actually, the $12 is pro-rated, meaning, the more work you do, the more cash you get. there is *NO* limit how much you can earn)

Job Scope: Ah, yes, with all offers, come the scope of job. Otherwise later people will point fingers at me and scream here scream there, and then I end up dead. Basically, I’ll give you an account on a local forum (you know, those website where u can talk and talk one).. and you just be active. Yup. Post things, chat with friends, just make noise there, and increase your post count.

Time Frame: 1 week. Earn as much as you can within this week You can work at any hours – I don’t care, too. Midnight, morning, or… well, anytime.

Interested? Drop me a message on hot_wired13 [at] hotmail.com via MSN. RP students preferred – maybe I’ll pay better than $12. Heh.

Edit: I only have 10 slots open. You need to have at *least* 100 posts per account

Edit 2: Only 2 slots left. Forums you can post on is now limited to.. OhGenki, can.com.sg, and blurbme.com. MSN me please

Yup, it’s a little late, because I’m *really* busy, but her it is anyway – 1 day before school reopens.

..at least you’ll be mentally prepared now – for tomorrow’s ordeal!

By popular request, and response, of my very sweet girlfriend being called “Yandao.com’s Girlfriend”, I’ve decided to post her name down – so that you can call me, “Kelvin”, and her “Lafina” – if you do bump against us, okay?

Please, this one no zoo. Just say “HELLO!” if you see us. Not point-point-push-push.

Smiles will be returned – or your… smile back.

A Professor at the SMU was explaining marketing concepts to the students

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am
very rich, marry me!” – That’s Direct Marketing”

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very
rich, marry him.” -That’s Advertising”

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her
telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich, marry
me – That’s Telemarketing”

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten
your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of
the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and
then say: “By the way, I’m rich. Will you “Marry Me?” – That’s Public
Relations”

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and
says: “You are very rich! “Can you marry me?” – That’s Brand Recognition”

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am
very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. – ”
That’s Customer Feedback”

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am
very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband. – “That’s
demand and supply gap, do your market survey first”

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you
say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry
me?” and she goes with him – “That’s competition eating into your market
share”

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you
say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives. – “That’s restriction for
entering new markets”

Hmm. What’s Internet Marketing defined as then?