yandao.com - Memoirs of a player wannabe

Okay. Red. It seems like now my unique red trademark is being, er, reproduced =X
Still, nevermind, nevermind, strangely, the swishes are reproducted too. Nevermind, people are going to say I copied Coca-Cola anyways.

Oh, and yes, from the new year onwards, Yandao.com won’t always be so “positive” and philosophical already - we’re going to attempt more harsh stuff, like flaming, and dissing people and other sites, maybe. Why the change? Possibly because we can’t always be good, and that the bad side shows, sometimes.

Who said I was good, anyways? =X

Meanwhile, if you need to read some really flaming, yet lame blogs, you might wish to try: http://maddox.xmission.com/

Oh, and bakajam, no offence I know you didn’t do the colour scheme, but so happened the text was contradictory, sorry! =X

Ok, ok. All of the other blogs there said Merry Christmas to everyone, only mine didn’t. I know, I know - big disappointment, but however, Yandao.com got Post-Christmas “Special” - other blogs don’t have right? Most of them busy gloating about that nice pair of sneakers they received or maybe that super HUGE chocolate duck or something.

Understandably. Unfortunately, Kelvin had less presents this year, but he got a really nice one from Lafina (LALA) though - nothing holdable, nor eatable, nor er.. Well, it’s not a THING, its a promise - a very special one, I would add. Sooo special that I’ll only mention it later, if I remember to do so, that is.

Anyways, I initially wanted to make a story for this “special”, unfortunately, my creative writing skills seemed to have gone wayyyy downhill, and thus, if I *did* write a story, it probably came with colourful hand-drawn pictures with scribbles and captions - those kind your grandparents used to read to you while you were just three. Awww. So sweet. =X

Thus… I picked up one of the two Christmas Bears my mum brought back from somewhere - or some place, and gave it a really nice “photo shoot”. Yes, for the very first time, you get to see stuffed animals doing silly (yet cute) things on Yandao.com. Now you know why this is called a special.

Special note to ladies, and slightly softer guys; Please - don’t melt, I know I’m, sorry, I mean - the bear’s cute.

“Stand straight while we take your mugshot. Oh, no smiles, bastard.”

*Types* “Let’s see. POSB, nope. UOB, nope. OCBC, nope. Credit Suisse (Swiss Bank), YES!”

Hmm. How do I use this thing, again? Point the trigger, and shoot? Where?

“OMG - I’m riding on Eragon’s dragon!”
“Oh, wait, it’s not.”

“SCREW YOU, screw. I shall screw you all the way IN!”

Actually, Christmas Bear here above meant no harm. Really. He was just unscrewing the alarm clock which I gave to Lafina for Christmas. Sounds, er, convenient, eh? FARRR, from that. It’s a masterpiece, of mine, of course. See below:

Yes, a clock for Christmas - for all you superstitious people out there, she already gave me the 20 cents so stop complaining. I know the meaning in Cantonese and Chinese dialects - stop reminding me, thanks

Still, beautiful eh? All handdrawn within the night after LALA went to bed.

LALA says she loves the clock, I don’t. I love her MORE, thats why there’s the clock Heh!

Anyways, stay tuned. Let me come out with more specials, maybe.

Ah, how I wish my mobile blogging system was up so I could just dump this post onto the net while *still* on the train - then again, maybe I should create a service to do that for others.. Hmm..

No, don’t think dirty. A guy problem doesn’t mean some STD or something, nor some chimnological medical term for illness which only occurs in the male homosapien. What were YOU thinking of?

Anyways, I’ve came across yet another scene which really brings out the fact that the general population of guys are insensitive idiots. Yes, yes, I’m a guy, but I really do think that I’m not that silly (unknowingly), am I? Heh.

Seated opposite me in the train, among the masses of kids, ah bengs (local slang for gangster kids - or kiddy gangsters, whichever comes first) on cheap Nokia 3-series cellular phones and wannabes sporting fake, sorry, er, engineered Nike sneakers , and deranged soccer fans engaged in their own world on the phone, are two people which particularly sticks out. Maybe it’s just to me, or maybe anyone would feel the same - I don’t know - for the very reason that I’m not anyone.

Covered in lemon yellow tops (that includes a shirt, for the guy), the duo also donned matching bottoms - jean skirts and full length jeans, respectively. At this point, I must say that the female is of higher than average standards (more than your gal next door), and the guy looks like a dork - geeky, like the overfed computer technician or something.

What caught my attention really, *wasn’t* the looks of the gal, but rather the idiot-cy of the dorky male. He was trying to snatch a copy of the New Paper (you know, that local gossipy newspaper which calls teachers making 5000 bucks a month and loansharks headline news) from the lady, presumably his girlfriend.

From a 3rd party perspective, I do think it was quite prominent that she wanted to tease him - the purposedful evil grin, and the playful flirtatious actions she used on the guy. Strangely, like most of the insensitive people of my gender - he catch no ball, when the ball was thrown directly smack on at his face, and forcedfully snatched the paper back.

The next thing he did, I’m sure the ladies reading this would consider unforgivable for a limited time - shoving the handbag which he was helping carry back on her lap and shifting away, acting PROUDLY that he got the paper back. Seriously, WTF? - and they say older guys got more experience.

Now I do wonder if I might come across an ah pek doing something similar… Hmmm.

At that point, she looked seriously pissed, and reached into her handbag, digging for something. Obviously, predictable - since the guy had his paper, yellow-clothed gal wanted her share of “occupation”.

I guessed she’d probably fish out a phone or an MP3 player, and was right in both aspects - her phone was both.

Oh, and the guy still was in his own world reading lousy gossip from a lousily published and crappily written local paper. Eh, want gossip? Yandao.com’s a much better source, seriously. At least got incentives for reading even. (Think: Yandao.com/Photo)

They say patience, is very, very, rare in such situations, but another unimaginable thing happened - the gal reached over and tried to hug Mr Yellow and showed concern as to what he was reading about. Unfortunately, as with anyone insensitive a few minutes back, he did not see the chance =X

Sucker. LOL.

Oh well, observing such silly arguments teaches much much good lessons to Kelvin - who says experience can’t be gained from others’ misfortune?

Why do people pin their actions, thoughts, and philosophies on a mere word - HOPE?

Come to think of it, we dispute much in our daily lives - the supernatural, the scientifically-unproven, the words of an uneducated child, and much more. Would you believe the foreign garbage collector who earns several dollars a day that there was a bag of gold inside the nearby electrical riser under your block of flats?

Then why don’t we dispute hope? Yet we actually build our lives on it? Silly, isn’t it? (and they still say humans reason well compared to other animals)

As with always, when chim chim words are used, it is always fair to write a brief definition, just in case they get misintepreted. I really don’t want any chicken heads hung outside my door, please, thank you:

fal·la·cy (făl’ə-sē)
n., pl. -cies.

1. 1. A false notion.
2. 2. A statement or an argument based on a false or invalid inference.
3. 3. Incorrectness of reasoning or belief; erroneousness.
4. 4. The quality of being deceptive.

(Adapted from Answers.com)

Personally, I find options 1, 2, and 4 slightly, errr, harsh. Hence, we shall use option 3 for our discussion here. I don’t really think something should be labeled so definitely without further argument, anyway. Good right, me? TRYING to be fair and all.

Incorrectness of reasoning or belief; erroneousness probably means that people reason or belief wrongly due to… er, Hope. Lets take expectations as an example - People build their expectations based on a mix of logical thinking, self-image, ideology. What tells them how far these expectations could stretch would be Hope, though.

Either it stays as an expectation with little or no hope and never said out, or it goes through alot of hope and faith and is put to the person him/herself.

That said, how much do you think hope plays in every little part of your life - or even just the way you think and what you want?

If at this point, I still fail to convince you, allow me to use quotes from others to do so:

“Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.” - Prison Break Season 1 (Actually, this was a biased quote, because I’m addicted to that TV series - and have high HOPES for it =X.)

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.” - Albert Einstein (Notice how tomorrow is entirely made up of hope itself? Think about it - since when was the future predictable? What is the very least we could do?)

Now, let me ask you something - when was the last time someone let you down? Someone told you that he or she would do something you but failed to do so? or maybe someone promised you something, but broke that promise you were really hoping they would keep? or someone giving you much false hope which really, really hurt, when it sunk into you?

That sucks, doesn’t it? The whole thing on hope - when its turned negatively against you. The feeling digs in you, and you no longer want to trust that someone who let you down.. and with that lost trust, comes along other scenarios, such as lost confidence, lost interest, and among many others - you might end up losing that person or group, or thing as a whole, after all.

Think about it, it all makes sense. What’s the core problem of your quarrels? What started it? What INITIATED it? Was it the other party? Or was it HOPE itself which did it to you? Are you having too high expectations of people around you, or even yourself?

(This article was left half written by me the other day, because I fell asleep on my laptop at who knows what time - so I completed today. However, some thoughts got lost in the meantime while I was busy thinking about dirty, sorry, I mean, clean, things :))

When you buy a house, you don’t expect the developer of the property in question to come right up to your doorstep, to doubt your sincerity of purchase, and question your, er, financial repayment capabilities.

Assuming that one has already fell for a piece of real estate, after consideration of physical homely comfort (and excitingness, at times) and psychological well-being (you can’t expect someone to like a house beside kampung right?), he/she would naturally expect expectations to be lived up to.

What expectations, then? The same ones the brochure SMS’ed to you quoted of course, the same one the SMS promised to you, of course!

(Please note that nowadays no more paper brochures with heart shaped drawings on them. Now more high-tech already, since the Gahmen decrees that. Hence, all electronic. *Ahem*)

Sometimes, the ceilings leak, and the new homeowner has to try to hold it up with his bare hands, and sometimes he himself does something silly, such as dropping cookie crumbs from the other sweet cookie he ate the night before.

End up floor kena stain and forever cannot wipe clean.

(Silly of him to leave stains, though.)

..and at other times maybe the heat’s a little overwhelming until both the buyer can’t accept the room and vice-versa. But eventually, both still returns to the exact spot.

Then, HDB (not the developer, more like the invisible authorities) opens up new option - lease/loan.

Initially, the prospects seem really, rather interesting - full facilities usage, combined with jacuzzi and sensual massage & of course, lodging… but then Kelvin realises that he already used to be seeking such an alternative to home ownership.

Oh, the very high sudden costs required, and “test” fees, to make sure that its in, er, top shape and valuation. But return of investment rate (ROI) is damn power, also.

Can ask any *cough* MLM agent *cough*, such as Fredrik, Kelvin (the other one - my good buddy who gets negative returns with his landed property) and perhaps my “social” entreprenuer - Azree, who aspires setting up a freely accessible HOT property website. I’m sure they’ll agree.

(Yea, bros? Back me on this one hor.)

Still, despite the comparison between lease and own (Damn, this sounds like some NTUC car sharing ad I’ve seen in the MRT. Tried a Toyota Corolla the other day, can move, but top speed/acceleration sucks, seriously. Almost buang into my house some more.) one has the ultimate choice on which to opt for.

***..and you know the rest of the story. I’ve made my point, if you caught it..

On Weihow’s request, I’ve finally yielded and helped someone (him) advertise. OMG. Silly Kelvin.

“finding a place to spend christmas? come on down to DXO. 19th DEC $18, ALCOHOLIC PARTY. NOT TO BE MISSED. ALL ARE WELCOME. TICKETS ARE SELLING FAST. u would not want to miss this XD”

Weihow then asked me to “bring my flings along“, when I told him that he must have been mistaken - because I’m always faithful to LAFINA darrrrr, and forever will be - yea, babe? - if you’re looking at this

Interested parties please contact him at ang_darryl@hotmail.com or 90274433.

DON’T contact me because I’m not going. Personally I prefer the old Embassy

Kelvin: “What is your girlfriend’s name?”
Guy donning orange SIT shirt: “Why you want to know?”
Kelvin: “Can’t you just tell? It’s not like its a secret.”
Orange-shirt-guy: “Cannot.”
Kelvin: “WTF.”
Lester: “WTFFF.”
Orange-shirt-guy: “…..”
Kelvin: “Come on, it’s just a NAME. I swear we have no ill intensions.”
Orange-shirt-guy: “Why you want it for?”
Kelvin looks at Lester, and turns back to Orange-shirt-guy
Kelvin: “Frankly, I just want to ask her how she can tolerate the way you speak. Does she vomit blood after talking to you?”
Orange-shirt-guy displays blur look

..and that above was a excerpt of a conversation which was the most memorable from the 3 days 2 night Young Aspirers Club camp.

Basically, the Young Aspirers Club (YA) is yet another club in my school, Republic Polytechnic - for those who haven’t been catching any balls so far - whereby students are actually encouraged to be somewhat creative, and daring. In comparison with Cypher Club - whereby all the School of Infocomm Technology students are encouraged to join - I would state that YA actually has more potential, in terms of people, and leadership skills, and work-mindset.

However, I shall reserve my judgment though - since they actually encourage people to borrow money from the school (actually, the Government) to start up businesses. Seriously, if you borrow money from Ah Long , the very most they can do to you is… Aiyah. Let me show you a comparison:

See the consequences? Scary, right?

Anyways, alot of really silly things happened during the YA camp, and I really shouldn’t elaborate on the countless times I shot myself in the foot. Even Victor - the facilitator in charge noticed the bullets kept going that way. Alamak. Luckily one of the school’s director didn’t realise - otherwise there goes my future aspirations of taking over the..errrr, school. =X

Still, this camp was organized with only around 10 committee members - and I must really commend their effort. If you give me 10 people and tell me to get a 3 day event running, I would give you back a single handsign (almost every time). Please, don’t try it. I need at least 11 people.

Oh, and yes, we happened to chance upon Singapore’s leading Sai Zui production plant. In Hokkien, Sai means feces/shit, and Zui basically means water or liquid. So, in other words, we visited a production plant which turned Shit Water into drinkable bottled water - NEWater . No wonder the people here are always so full of shit.

Strangely, they actually found a way to make smelly water into some disco/club-themed flooring - and to think for a few moments when I saw the other students drinking the recycled shit water, I actually thought it was a hopeless society.

Hmm. Maybe the water does have a little bit of effect on the older generation… (well, why else would they offer to dance on glass above recycled shit water?)

Then, our Gahmen fellow countrymen decided to turn up the ambience of a Sai Zui Production Plant alot more by redecorating certain portions to the slightly shinily-romantic theme. I wonder why they didn’t provide bedrooms or beds for that matter of fact:

Seriously crazy people.

But then, something gave me a slight glimmer of hope yet again - perhaps they were not totally old and senile and money minded after all. In this object, or rather exhibit, laid the truth about our society - in which our mums and dads would be so proud of to hear, siah…

WAHAHAHAHA! So they DO know about the tax increases so far! How much was the GST going to rise to again? 7%? or was it 10%?

1970 - No taxes?
1980 - Little bit of taxes?
1990 - 3% GST
2000 - 5% GST
2006 - WTFFF! 7% Taxes!

This looks seemingly familiar to the Exponential Growth Graph which the math class taught the other day:

…just that we replace the “Number of Rabbits” with “GST Increase“. Can, right? Same depiction of situation over X-Axis being “Time“.

See lah, what started off to be a post about “Your girlfriends’ name?” became one about political crap. Brrrrr. Nevermind. I’ll continue my story about kinky people and their words tomorrow.

Wah piang. OMG. WTF!

1,728,000 Seconds - One million, seven hundred and twenty-eight thousand seconds.

Which is also known as 28,800 minutes or and 480 hours or in simple layman terms…

20 days - That’s how long Lafina’s going to be out of the country for. Whatever for, I shouldn’t elaborate, but what I should go into detail would be the really mushy details - such as how much one partner in a relationship yearns for the other over a distance, or the thoughts that goes through one’s head.

..but then again, if I wrote such stuff. You wouldn’t be reading Yandao.com, would you?

Maybe someday Yandao.com would be considered a work of Literature by some scholar, wiseman or academic who takes a specific liking to Kelvin’s set of “Tweaks” in which he designed for the sole purpose of bypassing restrictions in Republic Polytechnic ’s seemingly secure wireless campus - Oh, yea, try to refrain from classifying my name under “Classics“, please.

Yes, and as for the 1,728,000 seconds, I’ll hold true to my promise with her that I’ll miss her every second from the time the engines in her commercial jet starts to spin - the sound that would signify departure, distance, and dread (on my part).

Wait, before you start to stone me for not sending her off with a huge bouquet of roses studded with shiny glittery petals (..especially the female readers - Please? Hear me out first.), I *DID* make something for her - right out from the overpowered convection oven in my kitchen. Yes, I made it myself, too.

For those of you who caught onto my humble blog many, many, months back - you would notice that occasionally, I posted recipes of some daring (experimental) creations of mine - pasta mixes, citrus salads, and stuff. But then again I couldn’t possibly make an “experimental” sweet treat for my lovely gal, can I?

Bwahaha! BROWNIES - with extra chocolate chips and topped with…

..and then lovingly baked inside the oven! - whereby once again, each second counts.

Oh, and yea. I don’t often cook/bake for others - due to the fact that my cooking is too irresistible, and usually, I gobble everything up before anyone else had a chance to make eye contact with it.. but the brownies’ control should be quite okay

Anyways, I told her about it beforehand, and somehow, she couldn’t bear to eat it at one shot. I was really lucky to have included a fork for her to slice each piece off in a micro fashion, until she finally devoured 1 cube of it! ..though I heard from Lafina that she couldn’t bear sharing it with her mum =X

Greedy piggy!

Of course, 4 squares of rich chocolate cakes packed with Hershey’s Chocolate Chips and chocolate syrup is bound never to be enough, and amazingly, Kelvin found this!:

- Matching rings from Metallurgy with the words “LALA” in mine, and “KEL” in hers. Now there’s one less reason to claim that either of us “forgets” the other!

---

Apart from the one million, seven hundred and twenty-eight thousand seconds in which I would not get to see my sweetheart, I came across…

…a REALLY inspirational quote. Except that it was inside a public toilet.

Pfft. Talk about inefficient Product Placement.