yandao.com - Memoirs of a player wannabe

*Sighs* One must know that it is never a simple task to start a post on yandao.com with a discouraging sigh…

Well, one must also know that a sigh could be a sign of disappointment or joy. Have YOU ever heard someone sigh in happiness or relief? Heh. Ok, ok. I shall not twist words, let me get to the point, we both know that beating around the bush will get us no where, that was why yandao.com was created in the first place, NOT to go in loops!

Actually, obscurity is good. It keeps those who has no understanding of what double-meaning phrases and sentences are, and it keeps this post short and sweet and without obvious rantings, like Animal Farm by George Orwell. It’s a children‘s story book, right?

One - My “brother” (inverted commas, as well, in my perception, we’re something like godbrothers), Matt, has a drastic sushi craving. He desires to eat sushi so much that he has gone away from mainstream sushi and has decided to go for sushi made with raw (smelly) fish from a few posts back. It’s somewhat amazing what hungry people can do, don’t you think? One’s desires can so easily be manipulated… Luckily I am near immunity! Wahahaha. I should have never introduced him to “wasabi”, now he likes it so much that he *NEEDS* sushi. *grins*

Two - I’ve actually learnt something these few days; Never, ever, have a sudden change in your sushi taste at a sushi house. You will probably just build up a bad name for yourself.. Why? For the very reason that a faithful (okay, how about loyal?) sushi fanatic does NOT change his taste often, and when he does, it’s usually the sushi that goes out of taste, NOT him.

Three – If one is starting out with sushi, he should try out as many as possible, and not fall for a particular taste. Falling for a particular taste will just make him stick solely to it, and not explore other possibilities. This way, he would be what we call a “hopelessly romantic” sushi lover. Yes, I made this mistake many times, and have no idea how many times I will repeat this… Ahhhh…

Sooo, Kelvin is no longer *that* confused now. More rants coming right up… La la la la..
(Oh, and yes, you guys heard that “No More Birds, Da” MP3 clip from mrbrown.com? – go hear it. That tune is forever stuck in my head, and forever probably means for this whole week…)

Wait, wait, wait! I, myself, Kelvin, wired, am very confused already.

It seems I’ve not only failed to confused others, I’ve confused myself, too.
No, really. This is yet one of the weekends where I’m so very confused.. and one where I don’t think I’ll be having alot of dinners. *yes, pun intended*

Give me some time to sort my own thoughts out, before I can even sort yandao.com out.

Is it Kelvin that is confused? Or is wired confused? Or both?

(..that’s probably Mixed Feelings in French, if I got the spelling right) 

*Shakes head vigorously* Yes, yes, I’m learning French, just because it seems like a romantic language which one could use to display one’s intelligence. After all, intelligence is sexy (yes, it is confirmed, at least 4 females told me that). No, actually, I’m not after everything for that agenda, life has to have more meaning than that.

What the hell, I just realized one of my Malay contacts (NOT friends) this morning slipped some species of a flying ant onto my tee and left it stuck there. Let me get it off, first. Ok. Done. I swear I will stab him in the back if we were in a civil unrest zone and we are the only two remaining survivors. Bloody contacts – friends are better.

What is more meaning, really? I always thought that more meaning reflected a new challenge in life each day – maybe like when one so happens to come across someone else in a public domain of opposite gender, who seems so attractive, that he tries to get her number.. Or give her his, for that matter of fact. A challenge could also mean going around messing with people, playing with their feelings, and dropping them like a brick while feigning ignorance about why they are so damned hurt after everything. (Uh, I probably used to have a rep for that in the past – good thing its somewhat cleared now.)

More than once, I have seriously contemplated changing my own manifesto, the way I think, they way I approach people, the way I do everything, basically, but it is not that simple as one might even imagine. Habits, social vices, and et cetra, all plays a part to one’s behaviour. I’m really so used to using methods some would only known was ever used on TV, being the extravagant person who didn’t seem real, getting their peers’ interest so much that they would do anything I asked of them (okay, almost anything – don’t think sideways, pfft).

Ahh.. I’ll probably just let things go the way they’re supposed to…

..the Bangras are. NOT Bangladeshis hor. I AM NOT A RACIST.

Actually, my friend told me this several months before. I still have the screenshot, click on it to view a larger picture!:

“Things designed by Japanese people can never be built by China people and vice versa” – famous quote by Sebas The Tian (pictured above), 1988-2006 (possibly shot by Chinamen wearing sarongs).

I have thus quoted supporting evidence:

As you can see, the shelters they built are so efficient lor. Even the rain water can come through. RP must have too large a budget to hire them, man! Really cool if they could donate like 1% of their budget to Wired Networks or Save the Kelvin Fund 

Sebas The Tian also said that since RP has the money to hire Bangras to catch us wearing slippers, why don’t they have the money to build better bridges so we can cross the road safely without putting up our hands to stop the cars like primary school kids with road safety stupid idiots wearing brightly coloured vests?

What really does the security guard do? *grins*

As you can see, I have quoted even more evidence. Instead of scotch-taping up the leaks, they were looking really clever, and they left so much crap sticking out..:

See. Very efficient. I really wanna write a nice essay, but no mood leh. Early morning kena disturb by those infidels. Argh.

Okay, I got a little bored, cos my Flash skills just suck, and anyway Flash sucks up resources, so what the hell, I scraped my idea for a Flash movie of today’s photos I took (actually, Beverly convinced me into scraping it, and yes, I’ve no regrets yah.)

However, here comes a short story.. Might sound abit cockup la – it’s just like photo stills from a VGA camera phone leh! Cannot expect too much… and YES, I TOOK THE PHOTOS MYSELF, TODAY!!! Here goes:

Journal of a Retired Regiment Left-tinent (British-spelling)

Day 1: The infidel rebel forces are getting greater in numbers, we, ourselves, cannot handle them. Our resources is getting lower by the second, as more and more trials and hardships await our regiment… We decide to stick up posters, warning the public about their danger…

Day 2: The British has sent in tanks as reinforcements, but they’re too bloody big? How do they expect us to use them on finding black people camouflaged? Alamak! Thankfully, our friends over at Wired Networks sent us a holographic map system which has direct uplinks to over 70 GPS servers.

Day 4: We know that those idiots like bicycles one. Always see them writing some cheapskate mountain bike which people throw away. Thus, we decide to stick this everywhere. Make them push their own bikes instead. For the Regiment! MUAHAHAHAHA!.. Also right, our commander tell us must aim towards the right abit, cos those idiots everytime talk that time shake head.

Day 6: We learn how to operate these advanced weapons. Must turn handle wan. Dunno what they are called lah.
Day 7: ORH. So this is how you aim it. I always thought is the muzzle point at our own men first. Not meh?

Day 8: We fought very-the-hard, and of course we kill those infidels lah. You think this one is Japanese Occupation meh?

Day 10: We have discovered a new LONGKANG, it’s probably the same one that Xiao_Bas fell into and cannot get out!

Hahaha. Crappy story, yes I know.

This is yet another post whereby names have to be obsfucated, and events which actually took place have to me even yet MORE covered up. But still, I believe those with a basic understanding in creative problem solving or some similar module would definitely comprehend what I am referring to. Forgive the cheemeology, please.

Okay, here goes.

The FishMonger Busoh Story

Our main character, (let’s just call him Mr Chee, short of Mr Chee Hong Kia, nevertheless, let’s get on.) finally decides to go to the local wet market (where all the aunties, and ah sohs go to). So let’s get on, Chee approaches the Fish Monger for the first time, and he notices its a female fish monger! (how often do you see those.) What was coincidential, was that the fish monger’s surname was Busoh, so we’ll just call her FMB *winks* .

FMB lays out a fresh fish, saying it’s for Chee. Chee seems shocked – he has never met her before, yet she insists its for him. Chee then states his full name out. She takes a little long to respond though, probably because she catches no ball. What the hell. Chee starts commeting about how er, fresh the fishes are.

This fish look fresh meh? Damned fishy in my opinion leh.

After a heated argument of fish, Chee decides to decline the fish, simply because they seem to fishy. Then the fish monger gets pissed, and she insists that if he does not want the fish, she will give it to 3 other guys who wants it. Chee thinks what the hell, this FMB damned B sia.

Chee walks away, and finds out that the next day, his name has been blacklisted in the whole market. What the hell. Stupid FMB =x

[to be continued]

My class, W24R, has somehow changed into a class crazy over lup cheongs (chinese dried sausages) basically, it looks something like this:

Then, the craze, which was actually started by Wynner through a DOTA game. We came out with all kinds of funky ideas revolving around the word “Lup Cheong”. Such as what we scribbled on the class whiteboard…

Here is Sebastian (spelled with an “a” not an “e”) scribbling crap on the whiteboard. Probably his signature, I believe. Then, the other picture depicts some other lup cheong scribblings. Check the picture out man!

Okay, this post has probably bought me some time for my next post… and, I’ve a collection of BUTTS! Serene vs WILSON! OMG!!!

Wahaha. How true the abve saying is.. Yes, I modified it from the “Early bird catches the worm” to “Hesitant Bird Catches NO Worm”, and yes, I’m on one of my stay-up-late days again, working on stuff which is probably irrelevent.. Still, Hesitant birds get no worms at all. Allow me to explain…;

Okay, nothing happened today, it was yesterday. But I’m too tired to post it yesterday, so today it shall be. Yesterday, I was supposed to meet Erik (uh, yes, “k” not “c”), yet another pal of mine, to explain to him everything geekish at Sim Lim Square (for those of you who still don’t know where that is, it’s the biggest geek place in Bugis). Just take it that I’m a geek-to-english translator, yea?

And since we were in the Bugis area, we dropped by the roadside bazaars stores and well, basically, looked around.. and he kept pulling me to this watch shop which was like so damned cramped. Initially, I thought maybe he was once again interested in watches, but it didn’t took me long enough to realise that he led me there 5 times; making roundabout loops each time.. Aiyah, it was not the watches he was interested about, it was the salesgirl (literally. she’s not yet a lady yet.).

He tried chatting up with her, but ended up asking stupid questions like “How long have you worked here?”, “Is the air-con broken?”, “How much is this watch?”, and then walked off. I felt like whacking him leh – waste my time only; I got so much better things to do. Then after TWO more tries, yes, 5 + 2 = 7 times walking past that bloody shop. He asks for her number… and he doesn’t get it! Wahahaha!!! (OMG! I’m evil. Making crap out of a friend’s contact’s* misfortune) She asks him to leave his number down, instead.

I had better luck at a pushcart store, though. Heh. *grins*

* Friends are friends, contact’s are merely people who make use of one another at certain times and can’t really be bothered about them when they don’t need them. I do throw some people under that classification, really.

Anyways, yet another of Kelvin’s Theories got proven, as always. I’m still thinking of new theories halfway, when suddenly Arlene sms’es me, asking me out for dinner, while I’m halfway on the train home. Fate is exceptionally great to me, though; train was only 2 stops away from where she wanted to meet! Yay. Don’t have to eat dinner alone again! (er, actually, I’ve never had dinner alone for a long time. but still.. errr..)

…and I got a pic! Eh, guys. She looks 18, right?

Apart from that… someone hinted me some stuff (that someone probably doesn’t read this now, but will read it soon), and the feeling of Deja Vu is back again. Eugene Loh (from the 93.8 radio talkshow) is right – “Why do we meet the people we meet? Why do we always meet the same people?” – Must really go and get his books and CDs. Very inspirational + Motivating..

No, seriously, have I been sending out too much wrong signals, lately?

..and what really defines wrong and right. Argh. It’s like asking Confucius “If the world is round”, and then he replies “Is the world square?”.. *sniffs* Makes no sense right. Haha.

Anyways, that’s what Mel said today, that I’m probably sending out too much wrong signals. Maybe she’s right. My blog has certain phrases which does no doubt send out certain signals.. Well, at least I don’t edit them off once people comment.. Unlike someone I know. Nevertheless, is it really that obvious?

Derek told me Brenda (was it?) told everyone that I was interested in Alicia – now I have a problem. My potential job is at stake again, now. That’s bad, I would seem now like I go for XMM’s (xiao mei mei‘s).. Blah. Must be wrong signals again. (actually, I am really starting to like to push the blame to wrong signals. not my fault!)

What is new, however, is that I have came out with a theory, called the Lunch Theory. The theory is fully backed by supporting evidence and states that:

If a person has not had lunch, one would have a higher chance of asking that person out for lunch!

Cool theory, right? Must thank Mel also. Haha.

Anyways, finally I get a break on a Friday, unfortunately, it’s a public holiday, so it’s somewhat disappointing. But – however, dinner the night before was great. Actually one of the best I had in a while… Reason being that I had it with Jezlyn! Okay, I would really like to describe the food technically, but I will spare the raw details, too chim. Here are the photos;

Seriously, this place – Fosters @ Holland Village, is great. Live singing by a great guy, and perfect ambience (pronounced am-bee-yonce, yea?) And, when you have great company to dine with, things do make a difference. Yah?

Anyways, I’ll go back to my brother, he is bugging me to play Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter with him; and if I don’t oblige, he will bug me till I die. =x

For the first time of my life have I saw a paikia (local slang for gangster) family – and by that I don’t mean just two or three people; More like five or six.

No, it’s not all that rare to someone who’s always on the streets, but for those who do know me, I’m not that someone. Honest. (though my contacts stretch beyond those mere punks) and yes, I’ve had my share of fun on the street, too.

Let’s get back to the family, there was: Mum, Dad, Son #1, Son #2, Auntie, and Uncle. That may seem normal.. but what was catchy was that they knew everyone.. Well, almost everyone – if all the secret-society looking members counted.. Brightly coloured hair, obsene tattoos, and oddly placed piercings added to the look. I would have taken a photo could I run fast enough. Yea?

Handshakes were exchanged, nods of affirmation, brief words, and the works were exchanged between those parties. It somewhat looked like a scene from a HK underworld flick. It actually took me some time to realise that I was in the West of Singapore, far West, probably “terroritory” of 1 major traid locally.

What really caught me by surprise was how much the parents cared for their children. I mean, people like us always have the perception that those gangsters must have had a not-so-good family, and that their parents probably didn’t give a damn if they got slashed by huge knives or broken Tiger beer bottles. I was very wrong.

Some messy-looking guy who was related to the family walked by, and said the usual greetings to Son #2, and took out a 20-stick cigarette pack.. Son #2 declined it, and then the guy walked away. The gangster-like parents noticed, and a brief exchange of similar words in hokkien was heard:

Mum: [vulgarity here] You want to die, ah? Have these kind of friends, know you underage still give you cigarette. What if you got caught by police how?

Dad: *agrees* Your brother is legal, that is why he can smoke. You want to have a criminal record in the future, ah?

Son #1 (who was still smoking): Yah, cannot give you [a cigarette].

I was impressed, not by the fact that this was a small matter, rather by the fact that even gangster-families who were so hard on the outside, cared for their children so much, and didn’t wish that they stray from the law. Yet, this is contradicting?

I don’t really know what kind of conclusion to draw from this… Ahh..