It’s another of those nights where I’ve actually felt the need to pen something down here, oblivious to probably hundreds (or rather, thousands) of people who stumble across this page each day, just to get it out, and perhaps, struck more than just a few chords.
PS: I don’t play instruments, so, well, I don’t know much about chords, either.
I never really used to worry much about money, especially when I went out – for the very fact that when I went to say, club, or just say, supper, at the age of 15, almost everything was paid for for me; Either by the bunch (which was like 10 years older) which I went out with, or well, some random person always offered to pay.
Fast forward many years, and now I was in that situation of paying for others. Amazing, isn’t it? How a few years actually past like that, and tables actually get spun around, mostly onto myself. Throughout the past 3 years of my polytechnic education in RP, I’ve actually gotten to know quite a few (okay, screw that – it’s MANY) people.
I’ve seen all kinds (I hope) of wacky people, people who make great friends, people who turn around and poke a wooden chopstick into your back, and well, even people who don headphones and walk around the campus singing nonchalantly. (Yes, you guys from my batch in RP will remember Sunny-pal. HAHA!)
Well, getting back to the topic at hand, in regards to money – after kicking some thoughts back and forth on my pillow, we’ll take dinner as an example for this time, because – it’s something really common, and we probably engage in everyday! That said;
I’d also be fortunate enough, to have more than my fair share of dinner dates – be it in remuneration for, uh, fixing laptops, or well, we made something up as a reason to go out – but yes, it was always done with a proper reason. (Let’s not move on to any other kind of dates beside dinner – it’s a touchy topic)
One thing I tend to do by instinct during dinner, is to observe. I have this belief that a person’s self tends to slip during the course of other actions, i.e Dinner, and actions, words and thoughts tend to spill out. I’m usually right, and there’s this little urge to always “tell” someone about how I’ve just “profiled” them, but there’s a little voice which holds me back. Us, the few who observe, are those who catch the minute details, and notice what is not said or told.
We always come to the point, in any outing, date, meeting, or congregation (blah, what a word to use) where money comes into play. You can probably make up pseudo-scenarios yourself, say: “Giving expensive gifts”, “Footing the tab”, “Splitting costs”, etc. Most people react subjectively to such scenarios, or rather, think they do.
Well, when I was much younger, my mum use to say, “beware of girls who talk about money all day long – you never see the Channel 8 TV-Sequel, meh!? they very greedy one!”.
It shows, and it shows bad, and especially worst when the person doesn’t even realise it, and hopes nobody else does. We often hear about “stinginess” or “extravagence” from the grapevine about someone else – and where exactly does those come from?
People do subconsciously notice, and rate, and add a little score beside each characteristic of others they meet. Whether they realise it or not is another issue to be debated.
Personally, I have two very straightforward classifications, and, as a guy, I’m not going to classify my own kind (because obviously, I’d be very biased, and no, that’s not the point) – I’ll classify our other gender into two kinds: Girls who like money, and Girls who say they like money.
No, I’m not missing a group here, and I’m strictly not going to add a group which says “Girls who don’t like money” for the very obvious reasons – that’s a lie, and they probably fall into the group which says they like, anyway.
Now, the very obvious difference in the two classifications is the word, “say”.
By definition, the word “say” actually implies, uh, “to be certain”, and “to express” – as you can probably find http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/say. And by that, if you apply that word into the context of expressing a liking for money, there’s a huge difference between those who actually just “like” something.
I’ve never taken any psychology modules before in school – and they probably wouldn’t offer me them anyway. But as far as I’m concerned, there’re two states of mind when it comes to desiring something – consciously and subconsciously.
Allow me to explain the difference here:
Conscious desires are the ones we know about, and actually are aware of – which also means we’re able to safeguard ourselves, or come up with a followup action to carry on. Take the example of consciously wanting an expensive object: The thinking process would involve “steps” to take to obtain it – logical ones, of course.
Yes, and these decisions usually lead to motivation, followed by success, driven by that very desire.
Subconscious desires are the ones which make us look bad – because we don’t know that we “want” them, and the mind, being a creative ballpark, ends up making decisions which are not exactly sensible and definitely looking very bad to others. This, undoubtedly, is also one of those characteristics which makes others give them the labels we talked about earlier on.
Now, let’s apply this two states of desires into “Girls Who Like Money” and “Girls Who Say They Like Money“. Guess which group has the conscious desires floating around!
Does it make sense which is the bunch that (us), guys, should be wary of?